Waiter Rant by Steve Dublanica

November 13, 2010

Waiter Rant was available via my local library as a free download, so I decided to check it out. The description from the publisher made it sound interesting and funny. I thought I’d be getting tons of anecdotes about how awful some customers could be and how good others were. But while there were a few stories like that, most of the book (well, the part that I read, at any rate) was nothing more than self-serving (ahem, no pun intended) drivel.

I only made it through half of the book. I got to the part about the “picky eater” that argued with Steve about whether or not the salmon at his restaurant was organic. After that, I just couldn’t take anymore, and really had no idea how Steve could possibly fill out the rest of the pages. He’d already touched–very superficially–on so many topics that there didn’t seem to be anything left to say. From the camaraderie felt between waitstaff colleagues to bad bosses to the need of always being friendly to the kitchen crew lest you find yourself on the receiving end of a less-than-kosher meal that doubles as an unexpected colon cleanse, I could only imagine the remainder of the book being filled with more whining about how much he should be tipped.

Dublanica just came off as a smug, self-entitled jerk, demanding that everyone leave him at least 15% no matter what. Why? Was his performance always as stellar as he thought it was? I highly doubt it. He goes on and on about karma, yet also laughs about “robbing [people] blind” by steering them towards the highest-priced items on the menu or angling for a double tip by not clearly showing the automatic gratuity on large parties. What a great guy.

Anyway, this was a highly self-indulgent book, and is yet another example of why blogs should not lead to publishing deals. Do yourself a favor and avoid this piece of crap.

I give it 0 stars out of 5.

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